Jan 31, 2018

How To Be A Successful Trolling Hater In 10 Easy Steps

Here is a typical trolling hater. Ignorant, negative, depressed and disgusting. In this short presentation we will show you how to be like him. 

1. An online hater is an absolute zero. A non-contributing nobody who hates everyone better than him: anyone more creative, successful, famous, intelligent or attractive - he will troll and hate all of those who have what he wants. 

2. Ideally a troll lives with his mom and is unemployed. Since hating is a full time job it is important that he doesn't have a life and that hating is his main occupation. He puts in some serious hours into this job. A typical youtube hooligan will clock at least 100 hours a week skipping toilet breaks. 

3. Being a coward is a must. Troll has very low courage levels and hides behind the safety of his screen. But he is fearless and brave in the online world. As there are no consequences for his anonymous actions, being a sadist has never been easier. 

4. Self-hatred is the fundamental condition of a successful social media vandal. This is how he can spill aggression, frustration and cruelty onto others. 

5. It is a requirement to be mentally ill. Paranoia, psychopathy, bipolar disorder, persecutory delusion, megalomania - anything goes. But ideally he has a good mix of them all. 

6. Remember there is really a thin line between being a hater and a fan. Follow your victims fanatically but make sure the reasons are as confusing to them as they are to you. 

7. Like his role models a trolling hater also wants to put everything in order and make the world more like him. This is why he picks on ethnic minorities, disabled people, homosexuals and women.

8. Learn to speak Hater Troll - the internet language of choice for all intense nerds made of misspellings, poor grammar, incomprehensible acronyms and idiotic puns. You can also try Cliche, Bullshit or Pure Jibberish 

9. Caps Lock is the hater's favorite key. Pressing it gently every time before making an important statement drastically increases the chances of owning his opponents. 

10. A troll has a vivid imagination that allows him to convince himself he is almighty, powerful and influential and that his acts of keyboard activism have a wide imaginary audience applauding his countless acts of comment section domination. 

Every skilled trolling hater needs to be aware of the threats awaiting him online. Being ignored takes away all of a troll's powers and makes him impotent. That's why it is crucial that you, dear viewer, do engage in long, illogical pseudo-scientific discussions and pointless exchanges of insults. 
But there is something much worse that can happen to a self-righteous cyber heckler and that is unexpected kindness. It is a troll's ultimate Kryptonite that renders him unable to perform. 

That concludes the theoretical part. Now we can move on to practice. The best place to do this is this YouTube channel. Any of those horrible videos will do. What are you waiting for? The comment section will not insult itself! Troll away! 

If you have watched this video please hug a hater and subscribe for more instructional videos. 

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